I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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