Dual....:-)
it hurts more in the daytime
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
