yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
