I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
