I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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