NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
