Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
