What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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