I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
