either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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