i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
