I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
