went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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