I must be too annoying 4 u.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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