If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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