I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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