and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize