Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
