I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
