Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
