Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
