Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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