ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
wakey wakey hands off snakey
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize