and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
