There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
