I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
