I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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