When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
