what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
