Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
