oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
