I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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