Sponge bath it is.
My hand turned me down
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
