i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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