Are we in a gay sports bar?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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