Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
