I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
