I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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