i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
