I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
