If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
