remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
