its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Girls should come with a carfax report
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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