Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
