new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
