yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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