Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
