Sponge bath it is.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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