The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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