Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
