Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
