Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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