Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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