oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So apparently I’m into choking now
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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