im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
