tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
