I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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