Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry hotassdancer hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis

Fav 64 8355 1120
share tweet
(312): View more from Illinois

It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free

Fav 5 1092 3813
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(501): View more from Arkansas

there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside

Fav 85 7441 1201
share tweet
(347): View more from New York

CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS

Fav 27 4190 1636
share tweet
(506): View more from New Brunswick

He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.

Fav 16 5382 1294
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it

Fav 8 1550 2537
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.

Fav 8 2587 1406
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(661): View more from California

my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework

Fav 2 786 655
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?

Fav 0 38 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT