Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
