she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
