big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
