if you like me you must not know who I am
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
